Ghost Story
by Caspala
Summary: Dean realizes he's in love. - This is a short one-shot inspired by Sting's Ghost Story. It follows season 7 and 8 through 8x07.


_I watch the Western sky  
__The sun is sinking  
__The geese are flying South  
__It sets me thinking_

Sam and Dean leaned against the Impala as the sun set. Sam's shoulders hunched as he watched Dean for a reaction. A beer hung loosely from Dean's hand, but Sam knew the nonchalance was feigned. Dean had just watched his best friend disappear into a lake. Now way could he be fine.  
Dean rolled his shoulders as he ignored the bitch face, "I guess that's it then. Stupid son of a bitch should have listened to us."  
By "us" he meant "me." But he dropped the bottle on the ground and got back into the driver's seat. "Let's go. I need to find something to kill."

_I did not miss you much  
__I did not suffer  
__What did not kill me  
__Just made me tougher_

"Dean, you're not proving anything to anybody by pretending to be okay."  
A face and "shut up, Sammy" were the response.  
Sam huffed out a sigh and rolled his eyes, "I know you miss him."  
"Stop it. No chick flick moments. And I'm fine. You're the one that's got hell oozing through the cracks. Focus on yourself." There was no room for argument there.

_I feel the winter come  
__His icy sinews  
__Now in the fire light  
__The case continues_

Portland didn't do much to help them figure out what the Levis' plan was, but it brought another death and shortly after Sam's wall finally broke.  
Nothing was moving forward like it should. Everything felt frozen in place like the snow blanketing the world.

_Another night in court  
__The same old trial  
__The same old questions asked  
__The same denial_

Cas was back, but briefly. Dean drove away from the hospital as Sam fixed him with a pity stare. He started in again, "you can talk about it, Dean. I'm not going to judge you. I know how much he means to you."  
Dean just sped up and ignored it.

_The shadows close me round  
__Like jury members  
__I look for answers in  
__The fire's embers_

Before letting his flask be burned, Bobby pulled Dean aside, "I know that angel of yours is nine kinds of crazy right now, but you need to man up tell him what you're feeling."  
Dean flinched, "I'm not feeling anything, Bobby."  
Bobby narrowed his eyes at his surrogate son, "you're a bigger idjit than I thought if you really think that."  
As the flask melted, Dean couldn't help but think about Bobby's last words to him.

_Why was I missing then  
__That whole December  
__I give my usual line:  
__I don't remember_

Dean landed in what could only be Purgatory, and first thing, Cas disappears.

_Another winter comes  
__His icy fingers creep  
__Into these bones of mine  
__These memories never sleep_

Purgatory didn't really have seasons, but it just felt like it'd be Christmas time. Dean had killed 4 monsters that day and wasn't any closer to finding Cas. As he settled down to sleep he shot a prayer at the angel, "hey, Hot Wings, when we get out of here I'm going to show you a human Christmas. You saw some of the shitty sides of humanity. Like when I took you to that whore house. Or with Meg at monster GITMO. But we'll do things right this time. But it'd be a lot easier if you just got your feather ass over here so we could leave already."

_And all these differences  
__A cloak I borrow  
__We kept our distances  
__Why should it follow I must have loved you_

"What are we going to do once we find this boyfriend of yours?" Benny leaned back against the tree and kept sharpening his weapon as he asked.  
Dean dropped the wood he was gathering, "boyfriend? Cas isn't my boyfriend. What makes you think that?"  
"Brotha, you carried his coat around for almost a year."  
Instead of looking up to respond, Dean dropped to his knees and started in on making a fire, "I never said that."  
Benny quirked an eyebrow at him, "you didn't need to."  
"Yeah, well he has a habit of popping back up." And that was the end of that conversation.

_What is the force that binds the stars  
__I wore this mask to hide my scars  
__What is the power that pulls the tide  
__I never could find a place to hide_

_What moves the Earth around the sun  
__What could I do but run and run and run  
__Afraid to love, afraid to fail  
__A mast without a sail_

The days in Purgatory all blended into the same thing. Chasing whatever dared come near him and demanding the location of the angel. Dean couldn't leave him behind. Couldn't leave him in this place. He didn't know what to do. He did the only thing he could think of, he hunted for his friend.

_The moon's a fingernail and slowly sinking  
__Another day begins and now I'm thinking  
__That this indifference was my invention  
__When everything I did sought your attention_

Sam was glad to have his brother back, but something was different about him. He carried the weight of loss, but this was different than before. Before Dean was raging against feelings he wouldn't identify, but now he seemed resigned to them. Resigned to having lost his angel again.  
At night Sam could hear Dean muttering in his sleep. It wasn't the whimpers and pleas of his Hell dreams. He spoke with a purpose, always asking "where's the angel?"

_You were my compass star  
__You were my measure  
__You were a pirate's map  
__A buried treasure_

Sam rolled over in bed, his sleep disturbed, "Dean, what's going on? You alright?"  
Dean just stared out the window with a stunned look on his face. "I dunno. I just saw something."  
"Uh, you saw what?"  
"Cas."  
That shocked Sam into looking. He got out of bed and stood beside his brother. "Cas? Where?"  
"Right there. And and then earlier on the road. I'm seeing him."  
"That's...not possible. I mean, you said it yourself you made it out and he didn't, right?"  
Dean turned to Sam, trying to make him understand, "I tried so damn hard to get us the hell out of there."  
"I know you did."  
"You know I could have pulled him out. I just don't understand why he didn't try harder."  
"Dean you did everything you could."  
"Yeah, well why do I feel like crap?"  
"Survivor's guilt. If you let it, this is going to keep messing with you. You gotta walk past it."  
Sam bumped his shoulder as he went to the bathroom. He came back out and Dean was still standing there. "You know, when he pulled me outta hell he gave me direction. A path to follow. It was the first time I felt like I was really doing what I was supposed to be. But now, it's like I'm just drowning with nothing to keep me afloat."  
Sam didn't know what to say to that. He just nodded at his brother, patted his shoulder again, "you'll find something again."

_If this was all correct  
__The last thing I'd expect  
__The prosecution rests  
__It's time that I confess: I must have loved you_

Dean was washing his face as Sam talked case. Dean looked back up in the mirror and froze. Cas.  
He turned around and his gaze shifted up and down the angel, confirming he was there.

* * *

AN: The conversation about Dean seeing Cas was taken from 8x07. Also, I am not making any profit off this, all characters belong to Kripke and co.


End file.
